Turn Me Inside Out

cropped-naveen-kumar
Naveen Kumar @ Unsplash

 

You touched your lips to mine
knowing you would find
sweet wine and honey
waiting to be savored

Just your lips to mine
softly seeking
gently tasting
a tiny lick, my bottom lip

A groan from deep within
turns hesitant and passive
to ardent and imperative

You touch my soul
with mouth and tongue
Reach inside me
taste my need
feed my fever
just your lips to mine

Emotions cascade
Craving escalates
the need climbs
until raging and emphatic

Your lips touched to mine
turn me inside out.

Dichotomy

cracked-glass
Pixabay

Duality, Duplicity,
Deception,
Destruction.

Assent disavowed
Strength, sincerity,
Sympathy, syncope,
Annihilation empathy.

Devaluation
Dissociation
Disparity
Denial

Subject to emptiness
Antipathy, enmity,
Acrimony, jealousy
Sanity to madness

Discord
Disillusion
Dynasty
Destruction

Animus giving way
Seemingly prosperity
Astronomic dissolution
Seeking absolution

Disparity
Dissolution
Delusion
Dreariness

Systemic obstruction
Astronomic obfuscation
Simple delusion
Assuming illusions

Dichotomy
Disparity
Deprecation
Disillusion

Autonomy restored again
Satisfaction is at hand
Aspirations are denied
Simple freedoms mine again

Distance
Diatribe
Disturbing
Disavowal

All is good
All is done
Self restored
Scrying honed

Once is All You Get

broken-promises
Broken promises @Pinterist

I remember walking into our little basement apartment
My feet crunching on little bits of plastic strewn across the floor
You’d broken everything you could get your hands on
Because you were all alone

I remember wondering what you’d broken now
In your rage at your world
My keyboard?
My radio?
Whatever you could find
Didn’t matter that they were mine

I remember when you broke the plate
Unbreakable ceramic shattered into a million shards
And then the knife you tried to make me use on you
Because you held all the cards

I remember thinking that I was so done
And you were the epitome of rage
There was no slight
No need for a fight
But you decided otherwise
And you used your rage for anarchy

I remember my head in my mother’s lap
And
her telling me that I must go back
For I needed your protection
Since the world was unsafe

Did she not understand
That you were the same?

I remember wondering when I’d become so weak
That I considered it, for about a week

I remember thinking that there had to be more
More than this sickness that gathered and fought
Til my peace was gone and my sanity was naught

I remember thinking that you’d come undone
Over nothing more than the tiniest thing
A smile given to another

I remember wondering when the madness would stop
I was told I was emasculating you
Because I was fine with being one

I remember remembering the gaffer’s hook and the chair
And the screams and the teapot that went flying towards its target
I remember thinking that this was unjust
And how she didn’t care that his pain was the mark

I remember thinking of the times I was alone
When friends would want to come over
But I had to say “No.”

What would I find there?
Who would he be?

The drunkard or the sailor?
And then? Where was she?

The violence and the noise would wake me at night
How could I bring an innocent into these fights?

I remember the shame
And my silence
The need to get away
And the walking for miles
To find the quiet I craved

No one should live this way
No one should suffer
In the violence
In the noise of the pain

My innocence was lost
I’ll give nothing more
Then again, I warned you
what you had in store

I remember hitting that wall
losing my breath
And reminding you of the promise
I’d made to myself

Just once is all you get
I refuse to suffer
I refuse to become
another number in the line

I have lived with that fire
many, many times
I’ll not do it
I’ll not share that pain
Never again

Once is all you get
And you seemed to have forgotten

Once is all you got
You used it up
And now I’m gone

Trial of Truth

unsplash
Unsplash

It’s cold here
There’s no light coming thru the windows
I cannot see my hands

It’s dark here
I know my breath makes steam clouds
I cannot see my face

It’s airless here
A black hole that steals life
I cannot survive this space

I am cold
I am lost
I am alone

If I allow this
You would break me
If I allowed you
I would hate me
If I succumb to this
I would die here

In days not long past
it is true that I
Walked this floor with
Scattered pieces of me
Strewn out the door

Those tiny bits of gravel
cutting my bare feet as I was
running away from the monster you are

No form
No structure
No home

I won’t let you
I will survive you
You will not beat me in your game
I eschew participation
in your trial by fire

I choose instead a trial of truth
Strength and honor shall be my guide
A path of resistance to violence and duplicity

I choose instead a trial of faith
Knowledge in my worth
Freedom from tyranny

I choose to shine in the light
I choose to bask in the sun
I choose to feel the warmth of love

Let them surround me
My rainbow coalition
And keep me safe in their arms

Peace a balm to my soul
Comfort freely flowing
A shield of protection

I choose to become that which you denied
I choose to hold my head high
I choose freedom from your monster

I choose LIFE.

the whispers of the wind…

huovkwxedfy-mark-harpur
Mark Harpur – UnSplash

For my safe place…

The gentlest soul, whose embrace is
Reminiscent of sweet arms
Enfolding all she encountered in a
Mother’s love, sharing her
Ancient wisdom, her
Incandescent light
Never wavering in the spread of her
Ever present comfort

Yearning for her own peace
Our Luminous Light grew weary
Unable to bear the weight a moment longer

Acquiescence to self-care
Reluctantly required both
Empathy and escape

Leaving us bereft, but knowing
Our beloved Mother is well
Virtual hugs from us to you. Our
Enchantment, understanding and
Devotion remaining true

Parts of Me

masked

There are parts of me I want to cover.
Sometimes all of them. Sometimes none.

There are parts of me I need to cover.
Sometimes for freedom
Sometimes for protection.

There are parts of me I have to cover
With sweet smelling blankets
That offer comfort on a cold dark night

There are parts of me I cannot but cover
And keep separate from the realities of this world

There are parts of me I simply must cover
Because you couldn’t understand

There are parts of me I will want to cover
That I cannot explain

There are parts of me I am forced to cover
With the mask that I wear

The mask I wear
so you’ll never see
Those parts of me
I am required to cover

And So It is Done

and-so-it-is-done
Sasha Freedmind @ Unsplash

 

I’m done.

Six months of waiting and wondering
Six long months of hoping and 
wanting

It’s time to move on.

How I did want…
The promise of you was worth it to me
Bu
t my promise was not one you could see

I waited. And waited.
With patient understanding.
I waited and believed
That soon you’d come to me.

In truth, that wasn’t your desire
You wanted something else

Something I cannot provide.
You wanted your freedom
With me in a cage
A one-sided giving
A one-sided slave

The giving, the taking
It needs to be mutual
That’s where the 
value is
That’s where there’s truth

Giving, receiving
Respect and courtesy
Or it is all, in fact…?
Worth nothing at all…

I can’t do this, what you want from me
Not anymore
I’ve given and given
I’m done with the waiting
You wanted me maybe
You waited too long

Craving Your Taste

her-mouth
Pinterest

Craving your touch, needing the taste of you on my tongue, this
Addiction is like nothing I have ever known.
My desire for you is
Never waning in its intensity, requiring only my surrender.

Weary though my heart has been, I find my soul moving, no, racing
Ever closer to you in desperate need to touch you, scent you, taste you, to

Seek the comfort of your skin against mine, belly to belly, searching for the
Unimagined pleasure that coils at my core, my very epicenter
Rocked off kilter in its attempt to become a part of
Vehement denial of past pain and the single minded pursuit of the ecstasy
Ignited by your touch. Allowing myself the vulnerability of trusting
Viscerally in the light and heat you bestow on me,
my
Enthrallment is complete. My desire laid bare, naked

Alive in the flames you have ignited in my very being with every touch and

Passion ignited, flames leaping, my body no longer my own, senses spinning
Aroused beyond bearing, the ache at my core in control. All of my senses
Stirred to life
. The nectar of my desire raining
Scented droplets
In a desperate attempt to reveal to you the nature of
Obeisance
I must demonstrate in deference to this overwhelming passion
No longer in full control of my body and mind. My sweat

Sucked from my skin as your hot mouth, tongue, and teeth attempt to distract me from that
Undertaking with which I am bedeviled. I must taste you
Consume you. Find every nuance of your scent and flavor and lick
Heaven’s tang from

Arcadia. Revel in pleasure given with my lips and tongue. Opened to me
Surrendered to me, your taste fills my senses like

The finest of wines taking hold of my soul in ardored
Heat. Abandoned to the ambrosia of your spice
Intoxicated with scent and sounds of your
Surrender
. A sweet ache releases nectar from my lady’s-slipper

Lamenting the absence of her mate, she weeps
Openly, reverently, in complete rapture from
Voluptuous wanton lust, her blush
Escalates, deepens. She is swollen, inviting you with pinkened

Requirements written on her velvet skin

Nirvana Has Me

nirvana-has-me
Pinterest

Nothing lost, nothing gained even
if I am afraid it’s a game. Now
reality is setting in.

Vacillation will cost me Nirvana’s
ascent to higher places
without a darkened
nimbus reflected in my mirror
.
As you a

Hidden dragon unfurl your wings, a new dream
acquired transcends past reality,
in an effort to still
silent echoes as it soars and dips and follows

My senses locked in fading memories, I yield to this
expected ecstasy you bring with an ever increasing heartbeat.

Fate Demands I Surrender

fire-lovers
Pinterest

Feeling my body come alive
at the feel of your fingers in
the quietest of explorations
the
exultation of your touch freeing me from prior pain

Dreaming of
exactly this, your
mesmerizing smile dazzles in its beauty
as you look at me like
nothing could stop the
desire running swift

scorching you with its flame.

Intoxication of my senses, filled with that

spice that only exists
under your skin, a living
redolence
I can only
respond to with intensity for
ecstatic ignition

necessitates burning
desperately hoping for
everything that is you
returning to me solely.